{"id":4426,"date":"2020-09-24T09:33:23","date_gmt":"2020-09-24T09:33:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.cancerhopenetwork.org\/?p=4426"},"modified":"2022-06-09T15:24:54","modified_gmt":"2022-06-09T15:24:54","slug":"adenocarcinoma-survivor-ellen-mentoring-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cancerhopenetwork.org\/blog\/adenocarcinoma-survivor-ellen-mentoring-others\/","title":{"rendered":"Adenocarcinoma Survivor Ellen on the importance of helping others.","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This post first appeared on the Lung Cancer Research Foundation\u2019s blog<\/a> as part of our longtime collaboration<\/em>.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lung cancer survivor Ellen\u2019s commitment to patient advocacy is hard-won. A non-smoker, she was diagnosed with ALK + adenocarcinoma in 2016 after nearly 7 years of waiting and inconclusive tests. \u201cI was under the care of a pulmonologist and an internist. I went to my spine specialist because of back pain and he noticed the nodule we\u2019d been watching had grown. My diagnosis was an incidental finding.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, she’s helping other lung cancer patients find hope and support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI tell people now, if you have a nodule and they haven\u2019t really followed up, don\u2019t accept that. If you\u2019re still concerned, insist that you go and have it checked again. I\u2019m a perfect example of being told not to worry, that I\u2019m low risk and a nonsmoker. Listen to the warning signs, go with your gut.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people say awful things<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Like so many others fighting lung cancer, Ellen\u2019s diagnosis was met with a barrage of insensitive comments \u2013 from people telling her daughter \u201cI didn\u2019t know your mother smoked,\u201d to the repeated assumption that Ellen had brought on her cancer fight because she\u2019d \u201cdone something reckless.\u201d She initially felt a need to defend herself: \u201cI had lung cancer, but never smoked.\u201d She is grateful that growing education has made those reactions less common. \u201cWomen who have breast cancer don\u2019t make excuses or have to justify having cancer. Neither do I.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finding hope with a peer mentor<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ellen called Cancer Hope Network in the terrifying first days of her diagnosis and was connected to two volunteers as she went through treatment with chemo and surgery. Their lung cancer support conversations were helpful, but she wanted to connect with someone whose diagnosis mirrored hers more exactly. \u201cI made a vow to myself that if I could get past that year, I wanted to give back and to make sure that someone else who felt the way I did in that moment would have someone who\u2019d been there.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Request a free and confidential peer match<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Four years ago, she fulfilled that vow, completing training and making her first match as a lung cancer support volunteer for Cancer Hope Network. It\u2019s a relationship that continues to this day. Other times, she\u2019ll connect with a patient who only need a call or two to provide hope.  She\u2019s completed nearly 100 match visits..  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

 \u201cI feel a sense of satisfaction when I hang up and know they feel a little better,\u201d she says. \u201cBoth of us are getting a lot out of it. I feel satisfaction being able to share my experiences and compare with theirs. We find out there are so many similarities. You can be so very different in personality or life circumstance, but there is a common element. Once we start talking, it\u2019s very easy. There\u2019s a flow.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She recalls a CHN Volunteer celebration where she shared a table with a fellow lung cancer survivor who was 12 years post-diagnosis. \u201cIt was so hopeful to see people who were further along than I am. Now, I\u2019m giving that to people. They\u2019re just going through the beginning of it and they can see their future when they see that I\u2019m doing ok.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"Having<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Becoming a CHN peer mentor<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

By nature a worrier (\u201cThis is the worst possible thing to happen to a worrier!\u201d), cancer was an opportunity for Ellen to reevaluate. \u201cNow, I\u2019m trying to take each day as it comes. Even with my doctors, I don\u2019t want to get too much ahead of myself. When I\u2019m feeling good, I embrace the happiness, I look forward to things. I try not to spend too much time thinking negatively because it affects me physically.\u201d  (READ: longterm rare cancer survivor Donna on practicing gratitude<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She encourages her matches with a mix of practical suggestions (\u201cKeep notes about treatments and tests and how you\u2019re feeling in a book. It makes it easier to go back and remember. It helps you to focus on what\u2019s most important when you\u2019re with your oncologist. And it helps keep you from seeming like a hypochondriac when chemo brain has you forgetting what you\u2019ve said.\u201d). She also offers thoughts on the larger picture (\u201cAnything traumatic you go through, hopefully you learn lessons for when things are better. One of the keys to my recovery was having people around lifting me up when I was down.\u201d) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Become a lung cancer survivor mentor.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s focused on providing practical support when people are in need \u2013 answering and making calls to  matches with the lightning speed of an expert realtor \u2013 and remembering that just checking in can make a big difference. \u201cWhen I got sick, many of my friendships changed. People always say that you find out who your friends are when bad things happen. I didn\u2019t think about it much until I got sick.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ellen was astonished when close friends stepped away. She was encouraged as other, less \u201clikely\u201d friends stepped up to provide support and comfort. (She’s not the only one to feel shocking isolation after diagnosis. READ: Support Volunteer Joe on the importance of friendship<\/a>.)\u201cI take my friendships more seriously now. I choose more carefully. I want to be with people that I enjoy being with, who I have found are my true friends.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"ALK+<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Life after lung cancer<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ellen has found happiness, despite the trauma of diagnosis and treatment. \u201cEverything is better now. Having gone through the darkness and feeling better makes me appreciate life more. People used to tell me \u2018don\u2019t sweat the small stuff\u2019 and I found that easier said than done. Now, I have perspective when things start to bother me, when I start to get upset about things I don\u2019t have control over, I remember how fortunate I am.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m really very happy that I volunteered. Some of my friends have asked if I think it\u2019s helping me. I feel better helping someone. There\u2019s a reason that it happened. I\u2019m getting something out of it \u2013 I\u2019m helping someone else.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To learn more about volunteering, or to sign up for the join LCRF\/Cancer Hope Network volunteer training session on September 22, 2022, contact Rachel DiQuattro at 908.879.4039 or visit  <\/a>cancerhopenetwork.org\/volunteer<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cEveryone is sympathetic, but unless you\u2019ve been exactly in that same place, you don\u2019t really grasp it.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":23,"featured_media":8586,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[78],"tags":[414,101],"post_folder":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAdenocarcinoma Survivor Ellen on the importance of helping others<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Lung cancer survivor Ellen has found hope and healing after treatment. 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