{"id":3752,"date":"2019-10-18T10:23:14","date_gmt":"2019-10-18T10:23:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.cancerhopenetwork.org\/?p=3752"},"modified":"2023-11-10T16:01:38","modified_gmt":"2023-11-10T21:01:38","slug":"talking-hope","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cancerhopenetwork.org\/blog\/talking-hope\/","title":{"rendered":"Talking hope with tongue cancer survivor Ed","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cI developed my way of dealing with anxiety in the second grade,\u201d Ed K recalls. \u201cI\u2019ll never forget it. I was in a school yard in the fall. My buddies and I are talking about our problems with school. This nerdy little kid comes up and says \u2018My parents told me I can\u2019t worry any more. So I don\u2019t have to worry.\u2019\u201d That was a turning point for Ed. \u201cI started to think about what was really important to worry about. The more I thought about it, the only thing I had to worry about was dying. If something wasn\u2019t going to terminate my life, what was the use of worrying about it? My black eye would go away, my parents would stop being mad at me.\u201d
\n\"match<\/a><\/p>\n

That philosophy would be tested when Ed was diagnosed with tongue cancer. \u201cThe weekend after Mother\u2019s Day, I noticed a lump in my neck. I watched it for a little over a week, and it wasn\u2019t going away, so I went to the doctor. I knew something was wrong when the tech did the test, turned off the machine, ran out of the room and came back with the head honcho.\u201d<\/p>\n

That test led to two months of scans, tests and seeing specialists. It ended in a Morristown Medical Center office, where Ed remembers \u201cDr. Cohen kept saying \u2018I\u2019m sorry.\u2019 And I kept asking what stage it was. They gave me eight weeks of radiation, which is the maximum they can do. I asked about surgery and the answer I got was that the tumor is not in a good place. They gave me chemo as cleanup. The worry was there \u2013 if the worst comes to worst, you\u2019re going to lose your tongue. You can\u2019t talk. You can\u2019t eat.\u201d
\n\"eHOPEIt saved his life, but radiation took a toll and challenged his \u201cI don\u2019t have to worry\u201d outlook. \u201cRadiation has a lot of side effects, primarily a lack of saliva and no taste for food. Everything tasted like cardboard or dirt. It was a pain to eat. Before radiation, they make you drink 72 ounces of water. Drinking 72 ounces of water with radiation sores is hell on earth.\u201d Fitted with a feeding tube, he found relief. \u201cWith the tube, you\u2019re fed, you\u2019re hydrated.\u201d<\/p>\n

A diligent, committed provider who\u2019d worked since he was 16, treatment brought lots of changes for Ed. His treatment-induced exhaustion was bone deep. \u201cYou\u2019re really super tired,\u201d he recalls. \u201cYou have no energy. Everything is a chore. I stopped working and decided to retreat to fight another day. I concentrated full time on getting better.\u201d He stopped work for three months and tried hard to let his wife and others help. Their help remains meaningful to this day. \u201cMy brother in law offered to drive me to treatments.\u201d
\n\"eHOPEMarried since 1976, Ed\u2019s wife Consuelo was a rock through the entire process. \u201cI remember when we walked out of the doctor\u2019s office after diagnosis, we said \u2018we\u2019re going to do this together. We\u2019re going to beat this,\u201d he recalls. \u201cIt sounds clich\u00e9, but it brought us a lot closer. You cherish the moments together.\u201d
\n\u201cMy wife was extremely supportive. At times, I saw her reaching out and trying to do things for me. I had to make a conscious choice,\u201d Ed remembers. \u201cI\u2019m going to let her help me. I think it\u2019s helpful to her that she\u2019s helping me. There was a lot of guilt associated with my cancer. I felt guilty that I had cancer and that it was impacting my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

His granddaughter was also a source of strength. \u201cShe was a year old when I was diagnosed. I lost my own grandfather to cancer a few years before I was born. I was very concerned with not being there for her, with not getting to know her or her not knowing me.\u201d<\/p>\n

His fondest wish was simple, \u201cI wanted to have a conversation with the child.\u201d That wish has come true in spades. \u201cNow, I have conversations with her. She comes to the office. She adores baseball and watch it together. \u2018Who\u2019s that, PopPop?\u2019 is the sweetest sound in the world.\u201d
\n\"garden<\/a><\/p>\n

Ed now gives back as a Support Volunteer, inspiring hope and reminding fellow patients that there is light and life in their futures. \u201cThere\u2019s comfort in knowledge,\u201d he says. \u201cThat one of the worst things when you\u2019re facing cancer, the unknown. People go to the internet. There\u2019s some terrible stuff on the internet, especially about oral cancer. It can be very disturbing. But when you\u2019re talking with someone who\u2019s gone through it, there\u2019s comfort. I\u2019ve gone through this. You\u2019re sitting here, talking to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

He works hard to keep the worry at bay, to find that perspective he learned so many years ago on the playground. \u201cWhat am I going to do? Sit here and cry? I\u2019ve always been a goofball, a clown. Nothing\u2019s that serious! It\u2019s a short ride. We should enjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bypassing online horror stories, finding hope and healing, providing perspective.<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":23,"featured_media":8625,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[78],"tags":[360,54,98,106,12],"post_folder":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTalking hope with tongue cancer survivor Ed - Cancer Hope Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201cI developed my way of dealing with anxiety in the second grade,\u201d Ed K recalls. \u201cI\u2019ll never forget it. I was in a school yard in the fall. My buddies and I are talking about our problems with school. This nerdy little kid comes up and says \u2018My parents told me I can\u2019t worry any more. 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