{"id":3500,"date":"2019-02-27T16:50:51","date_gmt":"2019-02-27T16:50:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.cancerhopenetwork.org\/?p=3500"},"modified":"2023-11-13T14:22:50","modified_gmt":"2023-11-13T19:22:50","slug":"five-lessons-from-a-two-time-cancer-survivor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cancerhopenetwork.org\/blog\/five-lessons-from-a-two-time-cancer-survivor\/","title":{"rendered":"Five lessons from a two-time cancer survivor","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Dale Smith has become a bit of an expert when cancer comes calling. He\u2019s not doing research or prescribing medication, but he IS empowering friends, family and CHN clients to take charge of their care, to have an active voice in their cancer journey.<\/p>\n

He’s built that expertise through years fighting cancer \u2013 his own and that of several loved ones. \u201cI had my first surprise cancer in 1994. When that was all treated and dealt with, there was a sense that five years out from testicular cancer, you\u2019re cured. Thankfully, because I was having follow up CT scans every three years, they found my kidney cancer in 2010.<\/p>\n

Having faced cancer twice, Dale knows the fear of \u201cscanziety\u201d too well. But he\u2019s a staunch advocate of the follow-up testing that saved his life when cancer returned.\u00a0 \u201cI have to go get this, drink this drink, take this test. You have to grit your teeth because it\u2019s better to know than not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Request a free & confidential cancer support mentor<\/a><\/h4>\n

Today, Dale is in good health. He\u2019s active in his church and community. He\u2019s playing golf. His outlook is realistic but filled with hope. \u201cI\u2019ve had cancer twice. I can ask myself when the third one will come. Or I can believe that I will die from something else many years down the road. I choose to be in the latter camp. Life goes on. I keep going.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here, Dale\u2019s five tips for cancer patients and the people who love them:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Get connected to trustworthy resources<\/strong> \u2013 \u201cWhen you\u2019re newly diagnosed, it\u2019s like \u2018OMG!\u2019 It\u2019s happening to you for the first time. But you\u2019re not the first. There are thousands of others who have gone down this journey before. Reach out.\u201d
    \nThe resources available online have come a long way since Dale\u2019s first diagnosis in 1994. But that has its own pitfalls. \u201cPeople these days when they\u2019re diagnosed with cancer, they get on the internet and get scared shitless,\u201d he said bluntly. \u201cThat\u2019s a bad thing. But if, in that search, you can get connected to reputable places like Cancer Hope Network, American Cancer Society or the Cancer Support Community, they can connect you and give you guidance. Don\u2019t get scared by what you see on the internet; use it as information when you talk with your doctor.\u201d\"eHOPE<\/li>\n
  2. Trust your team<\/strong> \u2013 When Dale received his diagnosis,<\/strong> he and his wife were planning a move to England. After a brief delay, they soldiered through the move, eventually landing at Royal Marsden Hospital in London for the chemo protocol. Luckily for him, his oncologist at RMH was \u201con a first name basis\u201d with his Memorial Sloan Kettering oncologist.\u201cThere is this network of medical professionals who really do know what they\u2019re doing. You want any newly diagnosed person to get connected to that.\u201dHis advice to patients echoes that of so many others who\u2019ve travelled this road. \u201cAlways get a second opinion. Or the equivalent.\u201d For Dale\u2019s second diagnosis, he was referred to a kidney surgeon who had been on his original surgery team in 1994. It also meant finding someone who was willing to explain the rationale behind decisions.He encourages patients to be \u201cfully aware of pros\/cons and the options that are available. Be engaged with the treatment plan, knowing that things might change as you go forward.\u201d Even with a team you trust, \u201cYou\u2019ll have questions. But don\u2019t be afraid to ask the questions.\u201d<\/li>\n
  3. Manage communication<\/strong> \u2013 Cancer is overwhelming. Adding check-in from concerned friends and family to an already full calendar of tests, treatment and recovery can be, as they say, \u201ca lot.\u201d That\u2019s where Dale recommends an online service like caringbridge.org<\/a>. The (free) service lets users share updates widely, minimizing the need for repetition. And it\u2019s a small way to exert control in the out-of-control world of cancer.\u201cCaring Bridge can be a real help to the newly diagnosed person and their caregiver,\u201d he advises. \u201cThere\u2019s all these people who want to know what\u2019s happening. You can control your story, what it is you want to say.<\/li>\n
  4. Care for your caregiver<\/strong> \u2013 Dale\u2019s first diagnosis came shortly after he married his wife Elaine, \u201cThe loveliest person in the whole world.\u201d He shares the lessons he learned as they worked through his treatments with patients today.\u201cAs patients, we need to recognize that our caregiver has doubts and fears that they don\u2019t want to discuss with us. Encourage your caregiver to also rely on other people. That support is another advantage Cancer Hope and Cancer Support Community offer.\u201d
    \n\"eHOPE<\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n
  5. (And, for friends and family)<\/em> Just be there<\/strong> \u2013 When your loved one is diagnosed with cancer, it\u2019s all too easy to wait for \u201cthe right time\u201d or hope to find the \u201cright words.\u201d But that waiting can soon slip from days into weeks or longer. A startling number of patients (like volunteers Joe <\/a>and Kelly<\/a>) recall the pain not of treatment, but of lost or silent friends.Dale\u2019s advice is simple. \u201cYes, your friend is in the hospital, your friend is getting these strange treatments you know nothing about, but show up.<\/u>\u201d Showing up doesn\u2019t mean offering false hope. \u201cYou don\u2019t need to say \u2018I\u2019m sure it\u2019s gonna be ok,\u2019\u201d he cautions. \u201cYou don\u2019t know that.\u201d Just be there. Perfect words aren\u2019t necessary. \u201cHaving people show up to visit was so meaningful,\u201d he recalls. \u201cWhen I was in MSK \u2013 just having people visiting to show they cared, keeping the conversation as normal as possible, was really helpful.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Dale’s tips for cancer patients and the folks who love them. <\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":23,"featured_media":8644,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[78,31],"tags":[297,298,98],"post_folder":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFive lessons from a two-time cancer survivor<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dale has faced cancer many times - his own and in his family. 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