{"id":3276,"date":"2018-09-25T18:31:05","date_gmt":"2018-09-25T18:31:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.cancerhopenetwork.org\/?p=3276"},"modified":"2023-11-13T14:39:12","modified_gmt":"2023-11-13T19:39:12","slug":"friendship-doesnt-run-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cancerhopenetwork.org\/blog\/friendship-doesnt-run-away\/","title":{"rendered":"Friendship doesn’t run away.","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"

When blood tests showed slightly elevated PSA levels, Joe Borzacchiello\u2019s doctors were cautiously optimistic, telling him that few patients with similar levels had cancer. In fact, the chances of him having cancer were only 20 percent. So he was hopeful. \u201cIn Vegas, 80% is great odds,\u201d he laughs. \u201cBut I didn\u2019t want to gamble with my health, so I had the biopsy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Joe
Joe and Flash<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cThe lottery you don\u2019t want to win, I won,\u201d he recalls. \u201cWhen I first heard the words prostate cancer, it was strange. It felt like my doctor was talking to someone else, like I was an observer. It wasn\u2019t until the next day that it started to sink in.\u201d
\n\"https:\/\/cancerhopenetwork.org\/matchme.html\"<\/a>
\nAsk nearly any cancer survivor what advice they\u2019d have for a newly diagnosed patient and one suggestion comes up again and again: Don\u2019t spend too much time on Google. Online or off, find trusted sources of information and stick with them.<\/p>\n

But, like so many patients have discovered before him, that\u2019s easier said than done. Joe\u2019s self-proclaimed analytical personality had him researching the pros and cons of treatment options and searching for perspective from others who\u2019d faced similar diagnoses. \u201cI know it\u2019s not suggested,\u201d he admits. \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have done quite so much research. The horror stories I saw\u2026\u201d he trails off. \u201cOnline, what gets a lot of attention? The negative. You see the bad reviews. You gloss over the good ones.\u201d
\n\"eHOPEHis search also led him to connect with several survivor mentors, including a Cancer Hope Network Support Volunteer. Their conversations gave him the perspective he needed. \u201cCancer doesn\u2019t have to be a death sentence. There is life afterwards. Not just life. A good life. CHN is a way to highlight the entire reality and spectrum of reality \u2013 good and bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

For Joe, cancer was an opportunity to see how deeply loved he was. His beloved daughters leapt into action, allowing Joe to see them in an entirely new light. \u201cIt was incredible learning how your children can handle a situation. My oldest daughter even bossed her husband into helping.\u201d
\n\"eHOPE<\/p>\n

Other support came from less expected, but deeply appreciated people in his life. \u201cI have a friend from the theater and he made himself available 24-7. He has a wife and kids, but day or night, it didn\u2019t matter. If there was anything I needed, He was there. In the weeks after my surgery, it felt like I heard from him every day. Checking in. Texting. Calling.\u201d<\/span>Another unforgettable kindness came from a friend who made a late-night run to the store while Joe was homebound with his catheter. \u201cIt was nearly midnight and she went to get what I needed.\u201d These thoughtful shows of support brought other relationships into stark relief, as other friends stopped calling or avoided talking about his diagnosis.
\n\"JoeA dedicated Christian, Joe found strength in his faith. \u201cI believe our lives are not just a random series of events,\u201d he says. \u201cI believe God knew what I was going through, that it wasn\u2019t something I was taking on by myself. Even when my friends weren\u2019t there in the way I wanted, I knew God was there for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite that faith, he struggled with people who offered to pray for him and then fell off the map. It was a lesson that love and faith must be put into action. \u201cSometimes people just need someone to sit with them. Words without action are worthless. We communicate a lot \u2013 with typing, with words \u2013 but sometimes, an action speaks so much. You can use all the words in the world, but the hurting person may not hear them. Sometimes, as a patient, you don\u2019t want to hear anything, you just want someone to sit with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Joe
Joe in a performance of White Christmas at his local community theater.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

He understands that cancer is shattering for more than just the patient. \u201cYou can\u2019t internalize it. Initially, it\u2019s just you. Then you start seeing that there are other people who are affected by your cancer. Communication is very big. Especially when dealing with family and friends. Those people wind up becoming your support system.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s ok not to know what to say,\u201d he encourages loved ones who don\u2019t know how to react. \u201cIt\u2019s ok to say \u2018I don\u2019t know how you\u2019re feeling. I haven\u2019t been through this but I\u2019m here for you.\u2019 Don\u2019t let that stop you from reaching out. It takes 30 seconds to pick up your phone and send a text or check in.\u201d<\/p>\n

As a Support Volunteer, he\u2019s the embodiment of empathetic support. \u201cI wanted to be there for someone else, because I had someone there for me. I\u2019ve had different surgeries in my life. This was by far the most difficult. It\u2019s a life changing event. As a Cancer Hope volunteer, I\u2019m someone they can turn to, even just to ask questions. Many people can provide sympathy. I provide empathy.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When blood tests showed slightly elevated PSA levels, Joe Borzacchiello\u2019s doctors were cautiously optimistic, telling him that few patients with similar levels had cancer. In fact, the chances of him having cancer were only 20 percent. So he was hopeful. \u201cIn Vegas, 80% is great odds,\u201d he laughs. \u201cBut I didn\u2019t want to gamble with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"author":23,"featured_media":8658,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[78],"tags":[262,199,263],"post_folder":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nFriendship doesn't run away. - Cancer Hope Network<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When blood tests showed slightly elevated PSA levels, Joe Borzacchiello\u2019s doctors were cautiously optimistic, telling him that few patients with similar levels had cancer. 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