Forty years ago, a friend introduced Hugo to the neighbor girl who lived three houses down. His life has never been the same.<\/p>\n
Today, Hugo and Amanda share 37 years of marriage, two daughters, two grandchildren and have another grandchild on the way. They\u2019ve also navigated multiple cancers diagnoses, a variety of treatments and participation in several clinical trials.<\/p>\n
A routine trip to the gynecologist in 2000 revealed a lump, which was soon confirmed as breast cancer. Within a week, Amanda had received surgery and was starting four rounds of chemotherapy and 30 days of radiation. \u201cAt the time, the information in the Internet was very limited,\u201d Hugo, recalled.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs a father and a husband we want to protect our family and we struggle to balance the information yet spare our family. As a husband my duty is to protect her and not only inspire confidence that everything will be ok, but also be understanding or her fears and feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOne of the hardest things was having to go home and give her bad news. After surgery, the doctor called to say that the margins weren\u2019t clear and she needed another operation. I pulled into the driveway and heard her laughing with my brother and mother. Those who have being on this road know how difficult is to give this kind of news to the person that you love the most. But Amanda\u2019s resiliency and love for life is awe-inspiring.\u201d
\n![\"hugo](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cancerhopenetwork.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/hugo-1.jpg?resize=590%2C295&ssl=1\")
\nThey called on that resilience when she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer that required more surgery, iodine and radiation treatments. After treatment, they enjoyed seven happy, cancer-free years until 2011 when a checkup revealed elevated markers and testing confirmed that cancer had metastasized to her lungs. Since 2011, she\u2019s been receiving palliative care and has participated in several clinical trials.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs much as I want to, I cannot protect her and the girls from everything. I accept that this is our reality that every three weeks we have to go for treatment, that every three months we have to go for scans. I accept the reality of my life. What\u2019s difficult for me is to accept that she has to go through this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hugo\u2019s advice to new caregivers is straightforward. \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to admit that you\u2019re scared. But don\u2019t be paralyzed. Be your own advocate. Don\u2019t ever stop telling her how much you love her and that you are going to be there for her. \u201c<\/p>\n
He encourages caregivers to reach out for connection. \u201cMy wife was the first person in either of our families to be diagnosed. Cancer wasn\u2019t something people talked about. Cancer is not going to stop us from living a full life. Starting the conversation helps break down taboos.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know tomorrow is not promised to any one. We must enjoy today. We can\u2019t waste time crying for tomorrow. When this first happened, I\u2019d always say \u2018One day at a time\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n
![\"match](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cancerhopenetwork.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/match-me1.jpg?resize=317%2C119&ssl=1\")
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